


bury my innocence

by redledgers



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Character Study, POV Second Person, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22579009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redledgers/pseuds/redledgers
Summary: You don’t remember what it felt like to die.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	bury my innocence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arlome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlome/gifts).



> for my beloved arlome and inspired partially by my also beloved [caly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/incalyscent) with the little poem in the middle and also the second person

You don’t remember what it felt like to die.

But when you wake up, you think this is what it might have felt like.

Dirt fills your mouth, your nose, your hands as you claw your way free from a prison made by the hands of others. You think this might be what drowning feels like, think briefly back to another that came before, and decide to be brave.

You have never been brave, not since you sought a fig leaf in the darkening twilight. 

You have never been brave, not since you saw the carrion birds following you, following your son, with the vacant eyes of your own hollowness.

When you break free, your lungs scream for a mercy you were never granted, not even in Heaven. The sun is harsh around you and you know this is not your birthplace as you step onto coarse sand. This place is noisy and wrong, and you wish for a softer ground, a greener place to rest your head. Though you have walked so far from Paradise already, still you must trek to find him, as if you could find fulfillment elsewhere, as if this time it would be different.

But oh, you are so

_ tired, _

the smile you wear as brittle

as a leaf left too long in the sun,

left to dry and crackle beneath

the feet of someone who is

no better than you.

And you are scared, but when have you ever not been, burying the scent of fear beneath the hope that supplication would be enough to grant you freedom. You are scared, but with him you will find safety, a place you can fill in this world that has no use for you otherwise.

You don't remember what it felt like to die.

But when you wake up, you think you may learn what it feels like to live.

  
  



End file.
